Should you be forgotten
or should you be remembered?
Memories of you fade in the morning
and sparkle in the night
How I hate to see what I’ve become because of you
How I hate thy ways. Thy ways have become my ways too!
Tell me! What do I need part of you for?
Parasites never die till you are no more.
Take a moment to feel something , to think about the past , to walk in a land you once knew before, before we begin our journey to a place of discovery. Do you remember now ? Is it all coming back to you? Can you see that face clearly? Hold my hands and let me guide you! Today, I want to tell you why you can’t forget about him! You need to know why you can’t forget about her! Do you want to know how to forget people who badly hurt you? Let’s take another step. Follow me.
Pain! Nothing hurts like a heartbreak. A heartbreak never goes away. A heartbreak is a broken spirit! A heartbreak fails to love like before. A heartbreak keeps you away from love even if it’s real. With a heartbreak, what joy can you find in work? With a heartbreak, nothing matters anymore. Life has no purpose. Living has no meaning and loving has no meaning. Don’t you think this is a price too much to pay for someone who doesn’t deserve you? But how can you forget someone you dislike? Let me share some of the reasons and techniques that have been proposed over the years that help people reintegrate into society after breakups, divorces or death of loved ones.
- You can only forget things that are not important. If you still have memories about this person, then it’s most likely you consider them extremely relevant in your life. What are the things the person used to do for you? What kind of support did you get from the person ? Do you think about this person because you can’t find any solution or alternative to your problem? Get up! Pick yourself up! You can do this by yourself. You don’t need them ! You can do this. Building new skills is the one way to fade those bad memories. Most people try new things to build new memories – happy memories to overwrite the happy memories with the person to be forgotten. If the memories are better than the ones shared with the target, your brain can easily place this particular memory before the past. Thus, the better the new experience, the more powerful the memory whipping factor. Do something fun! Really fun with someone who makes you feel good!
- It’s difficult to forget people who have taken certain positions in your life – Number one and the last! Your first boyfriend or girlfriend has already taken number one. No one can take this position again. It’s impossible to forget him or her because of their position in your mind. Don’t think the next person has the magic to make you forget him or her. You have to give them the opportunity to show you what they can offer. But it will never be the same! Your mother is gone forever! She was number one and the last – the only one! She wants to care for you and love you like your mother. It might not be the same! It’s not her fault she’s number two! Don’t compare her to number one! With this, all you can do is to accept the fact that this can never be changed. But you have to embrace whoever is willing to help you recover!
- Another reason is intensity! If the degree of injustice was extremely high or heartless, in your security control system, you pay attention to the signs and situations that appear similarly as you move in life. In a similar situation, you could anticipate the probability of the past over the presence unconsciously. Images of objects or people that remind you of bad events should be far from you. Make new friends and leave old friends. For the sake of recovering, build a new network of people. Spend time with positive people, people who make you stronger than you are, people who believe in you more than you do in yourself, people that can inspire you to be good! There are always two eyes but each has a different image, opposite perspective. Choose to be positive by looking through the positive lens. When you find yourself watching the negative lens, ignore and focus on the positive! No matter how evil a person is, they have a good side that someone somewhere loves. Maybe not you! But if it is impossible to forget somebody, it would be better to remember the good times than the bad times even though your personal decision is not to go back to the person.
I know you want more. Come back another day. The people on the planet need you! Go back and teach them what you learnt.